Wednesday, December 15, 2010

A Week...and It's Just Wednesday


It's been a hard week. 


Though there have been some sweet moments in there...


Like The Engineer giving his offspring tactical lessons with Little Man's wooden, toy guns...


In the kitchen...


They took out the fridge.


Sister amazed me, yet again. She came downstairs sporting this sweet outfit. When I complimented her, this conversation ensued:

Me: "Hey, I like your outfit."

Sister: "Thanks. I've been at work. You know, payin' bills and taxes and stuff like that."

Me: "Oh really. What do you do?"

Sister: "I make money."

Me: "Like, you work to earn money?"

Sister: "Oh no. I actually make the money. Like, I do the designs. Like the people in Texas. And they pay me to do it."

Me: "Oh wow. That's awesome!"

Sister: "Yeah, they pay me four dollars and sometimes they even let me spend it."


This puppy has been hanging out inside A LOT lately. Aside from eating my lunch, my breakfast, and whacking Little Bit on the head with his tail, I kind of, but only a little bit, like him. Ugh. What is happening?


Saturday we swung by our friends' awesome organic farm. She's a web designer, he's a real, live cowboy, and they dreamed of having their own farm...


They sold their house in the burbs, bought land in the country, and their family of four lived in a tiny garage apartment while they worked the land and built their farmhouse. 

They are awesome. Love 'em. And we had a blast.


We even got a tractor pulled hay ride to their boardwalk...the swamp was dry...which made for excellent exploring (and every child returned with some form of fish scales, bones, etc. in hand - ick).


Little Bit had herself a good ol' time...


Being very independent. 



All the bebes have runny noses. Sister has a cough. Little Bit is cutting more teeth...and we've enjoyed warm fires and the glow of the Christmas tree, warm baths, and footy jammies right out of the dryer.


I never should have written this post. Since writing it...


We've broken FIVE bowls!!! FIVE. F-I-V-E. Guess I'll start praying for a stack of blue willow bowls at the thrift store. 


My heart has been a bit discouraged this week. I feel like I can't get traction. I take one step forward and fall three back.

Parenting has been difficult, to say the least. I've yelled more times this week than I care to confess. I forced Little Man to play outside, well bundled, in the cold, for an hour yesterday, just because I couldn't take it anymore.

Wet pants.
Broken bowls.
Stacks of clean, folded clothing, knocked down the steps.
Ironed hanging clothes, pulled off their hangers and trampled.
Puzzles, pulled down, pieces mixed together.
Shrieks when I wipe snotty noses.
Getting my face clawed, my arms pinched, all because I said, "no, no, Little Bit."
Door handle on my driver's side door, broken.
An entire glass of water, knocked over on MY side of the bed...in the middle of the night, after getting up twice with crying babies.
Being called out, in love, by a friend, for gossiping. I mean, a good thing, but ugh, it pricked my heart.
Crumbs on the floor. 
Tee tee on the sofa.
Disobedience.
And in general, I feel like I've made NO traction with homeschooling this week. Like, none. 
I don't even know where my time has gone.
It's been really discouraging.
And I've been short, tired and short.

This afternoon I felt so angry. I asked the children if they like our life. They looked up at me with HUGE grins and shouted, "Oh yes, mommy! Yes! We LOVE it!" And that made me smile.


Sister's drawing of the Christmas Cantata. Love the hats.


I won that beautiful glass sphere in a game of white elephant. The Engineer suggested we give it to my Mom for Christmas, and play it up, like we think it's rockin' awesome. I'm not that mean.

We (me and the bebes) spent the ENTIRE DAY cleaning out and organizing the kids rooms and the playroom. Read me, the ENTIRE DAY. I'd planned to be finished by lunch, and then school in the afternoon during "rest time." We broke for lunch at 1pm. Sister managed six work book pages, so that was good, but not according to plan. Not according to my plan. Homeschool is such a give and take. And it's hard not to feel intense pressure to prove myself. 


I had lots of help cleaning out....four garbage bags of trash and two of give-away. I found Sister going through the "give-away" bag. Momentarily, I panicked. Then she looked at me and said, "Mom, thanks for giving this stuff away. I really don't want it." Her attitude was so different this time.

So...as I list out all my complaints, all the ways life hasn't gone according to my perfect plan, I realize my heart lacks gratitude and that I am, in fact, incredibly and richly blessed. His mercies are new every morning. I am very much looking forward to a fresh start tomorrow. In. Every. Way.

Night.

21 comments:

  1. You're doing an awesome job. And the children's answer about life just proves it!

    I did kind of wonder how you'd only ever broken one dish. We've passed that already! Just consider yourself catching up. :)

    And oh how I hate clean, folded laundry being destroyed. It really is depressing. So sorry.

    Hope the rest of the week and the weekend (oh, the glorious weekend!) is restful and re-energizing!

    ReplyDelete
  2. i love you sweet sister. i am currently nursing an open wound inside my mouth from LO clawing at my face when it was time to leave a playgroup. i understand.

    LOVE YOU!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sweet Jenn, you are such a great person and mom! I know the feeling about the list-that is my life this week. And it makes me sad/mad at myself-I question how I will do this at home full time next year with two. Will I be heinous? I can't! I have to get an attitude adjustment immediately! I think lots of things bother us Type A peeps, but we have to learn the let some stuff go. Let's just consider that we're working on it!
    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  4. I only have ONE child that's ONE year old and feel the same way some days. I don't know how you do it. But I'm encouraged by your perseverence and trust in new mercies. THANK YOU.

    ReplyDelete
  5. You are doing an awesome job! Everyone has those weeks!!
    Do I spy a Brownie necktie as an accessory on Sister?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hope the warmer days ahead help! It's so hard when it's cold and everyone is cooped up inside. Sending prayers your way.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hang in there my friend! The children's answer does reveal A LOT...they LOVE you and your life...PRECIOUS!!!! We all have *those* weeks...really, we do!!

    Sending you love allll the way from here!!!!

    Camille xo

    ReplyDelete
  8. Spoken to my husband less than an hour ago... "I feel like I'm just keeping my head above water making sure that everyone is fed and clothed... the clutter is closing in on me."

    I'm there with you, my friend. It's been a crazy week here too. All I can say is that all is grace... even the hard stuff, thank Him for it and than Him for the cross.

    ReplyDelete
  9. We can all TOTALLY relate. Thanks for being so honest. I seriously hope that y'all had a better day today. I know how much I hate the feeling of taking one step forward and ten steps back.

    Tee tee on the sofa - oh man.
    And the water glass being knocked over in the night. That has happened to me twice this year and it is just horrible to clean up in the middle of the night.

    Oh, its a fallen world. I hope you experienced some new mercies this morning.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I see we are having the same kind of day/week! Love you and hope it gets better. Scottie was gracious, and even after working all day, kept the kids tonight so I could run errands and eat dinner at one of my favorite little places ALL BY MYSELF. I had let the kids get to me today and had to totally just remove myself from the house for a bit..lol. It was good for me, and in about 2 1/2 hours, I was a new person! I am finally finished with chores and going to bed tonight..er... this morning. SO glad His mercies are new too!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Dear Jenn ~

    When I stopped by the other day I neglected to mention that I *love* that photo of the kids in front of the fire with just their towels on...soooo cute! :)

    I am taking a two week break from the computer, so I am stopping by to wish you and your family a very Merry CHRISTmas and a blessed New Year! I will look forward to catching up with you early in 2011.

    May the LORD bless you daily with all you need...enjoy these days...they are quickly flying by!!!

    Love,
    Camille

    ReplyDelete
  12. I have these kind of days more than I care to admit! Just when I think, "I can't do this!" God reminds me that I am not supposed to do it by myself- that I need Him to do it in me- why do I always seem to forget that and snatch the reins from Him? Case in point- the Nutcraker! Max fell apart towards the end and we left with him in hysterics. After spanking him I pulled into a parking lot and we sat there for 20 min. while I cried! I felt like the biggest failure! Being a mom is so hard and I need grace every minute, no, every second!

    ReplyDelete
  13. I loved your post! I feel some of those very emotions and it was so comforting to see someone else feel them with me AND put them in words. A great reminder that we are never alone in our struggles. We all have them and God is always present for us. Thanks for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Why does everyone overuse the word "awesome" so much? Everything just can't be awesome. We all need to think up other words to use in its place.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Let's have tea.
    Feeling the same over here :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. The honesty, brilliance, hilarity, beauty, and familiarity of this post make it one of my favorites.

    I'm smiling over here and wishing we could hang out for a day together.

    Big hugs, my friend!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Hi!!!! Hugs to you and I hope you are having a better week! :) Love you!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Hello, friend! Hoping tomorrow is better and less stressful. I'm prayin' for you! I LOVE that pic of the kids in front of the fire! It belongs on the front of a magazine or a Christmas card! Love you!

    ReplyDelete
  19. The whole month of November was like that for me as I was preparing for this foot surgery. I felt so alone, helpless and scared as I realized what I was about to go through. Disobedience seemed to be on the rise and I felt panic everytime as I thought to myself, "How am I going to be doing this parenting from the couch?" Now that I am in it. God is meeting my needs with people who are generously helping me with meals and watching the little ones. Even coming to give my poor stressed out a hubby a break from it all.

    I pray that God will meet everyone of your needs. Praise the Lord, too, that he has given you a friend that loves you enough to call sin what it is. Even though it is hard, it is good to step back and examine it to see if there is trut in it. Not easy, but a step in the growing and walking with our Lord.

    You are doing so well, and I love you! Don't worry about meeting your goals with homeschooling. She is six for crying out loud!!!! You have how many years to teach her everything she knows and she will still probably graduate at 16!!!!LOL!

    Don't sweat the small stuff. I will be praying you have a wonderful Christmas my friend.

    Love,
    Stacie

    ReplyDelete
  20. Just randomly clicking around this afternoon. I almost texted you, but for me, comments are like tiny little bursts of "Hey, someone is reading my blog!" happiness. So I'm commenting instead.

    I just love this. I am trying to remember where I "was" in Dec 2010, because I think that was a space of time when I stopped blogging. I think. But I just love this, because it's so familiar to my own heart and comforting to know I'm not alone. (And I wasn't then either, even before the Lord brought y'all here.)

    Anyway. I just love this. More of this please. ;) Hurry up and finish your upstairs so you can have time to blog more again. ;) Love you.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Just randomly clicking around this afternoon. I almost texted you, but for me, comments are like tiny little bursts of "Hey, someone is reading my blog!" happiness. So I'm commenting instead.

    I just love this. I am trying to remember where I "was" in Dec 2010, because I think that was a space of time when I stopped blogging. I think. But I just love this, because it's so familiar to my own heart and comforting to know I'm not alone. (And I wasn't then either, even before the Lord brought y'all here.)

    Anyway. I just love this. More of this please. ;) Hurry up and finish your upstairs so you can have time to blog more again. ;) Love you.

    ReplyDelete