A Week...and It's Just Wednesday

It's been a hard week. 

Though there have been some sweet moments in there...

Like The Engineer giving his offspring tactical lessons with Little Man's wooden, toy guns...

In the kitchen...

They took out the fridge.

Sister amazed me, yet again. She came downstairs sporting this sweet outfit. When I complimented her, this conversation ensued:

Me: "Hey, I like your outfit."

Sister: "Thanks. I've been at work. You know, payin' bills and taxes and stuff like that."

Me: "Oh really. What do you do?"

Sister: "I make money."

Me: "Like, you work to earn money?"

Sister: "Oh no. I actually make the money. Like, I do the designs. Like the people in Texas. And they pay me to do it."

Me: "Oh wow. That's awesome!"

Sister: "Yeah, they pay me four dollars and sometimes they even let me spend it."

This puppy has been hanging out inside A LOT lately. Aside from eating my lunch, my breakfast, and whacking Little Bit on the head with his tail, I kind of, but only a little bit, like him. Ugh. What is happening?

Saturday we swung by our friends' awesome organic farm. She's a web designer, he's a real, live cowboy, and they dreamed of having their own farm...

They sold their house in the burbs, bought land in the country, and their family of four lived in a tiny garage apartment while they worked the land and built their farmhouse. 

They are awesome. Love 'em. And we had a blast.

We even got a tractor pulled hay ride to their boardwalk...the swamp was dry...which made for excellent exploring (and every child returned with some form of fish scales, bones, etc. in hand - ick).

Little Bit had herself a good ol' time...

Being very independent. 

All the bebes have runny noses. Sister has a cough. Little Bit is cutting more teeth...and we've enjoyed warm fires and the glow of the Christmas tree, warm baths, and footy jammies right out of the dryer.

I never should have written this post. Since writing it...

We've broken FIVE bowls!!! FIVE. F-I-V-E. Guess I'll start praying for a stack of blue willow bowls at the thrift store. 

My heart has been a bit discouraged this week. I feel like I can't get traction. I take one step forward and fall three back.

Parenting has been difficult, to say the least. I've yelled more times this week than I care to confess. I forced Little Man to play outside, well bundled, in the cold, for an hour yesterday, just because I couldn't take it anymore.

Wet pants.

Broken bowls.

Stacks of clean, folded clothing, knocked down the steps.

Ironed hanging clothes, pulled off their hangers and trampled.

Puzzles, pulled down, pieces mixed together.

Shrieks when I wipe snotty noses.

Getting my face clawed, my arms pinched, all because I said, "no, no, Little Bit."

Door handle on my driver's side door, broken.

An entire glass of water, knocked over on MY side of the bed...in the middle of the night, after getting up twice with crying babies.

Being called out, in love, by a friend, for gossiping. I mean, a good thing, but ugh, it pricked my heart.

Crumbs on the floor. 

Tee tee on the sofa.

Disobedience.

And in general, I feel like I've made NO traction with homeschooling this week. Like, none. 

I don't even know where my time has gone.

It's been really discouraging.

And I've been short, tired and short.

This afternoon I felt so angry. I asked the children if they like our life. They looked up at me with HUGE grins and shouted, "Oh yes, mommy! Yes! We LOVE it!" And that made me smile.

Sister's drawing of the Christmas Cantata. Love the hats.

I won that beautiful glass sphere in a game of white elephant. The Engineer suggested we give it to my Mom for Christmas, and play it up, like we think it's rockin' awesome. I'm not that mean.

We (me and the bebes) spent the ENTIRE DAY cleaning out and organizing the kids rooms and the playroom. Read me, the ENTIRE DAY. I'd planned to be finished by lunch, and then school in the afternoon during "rest time." We broke for lunch at 1pm. Sister managed six work book pages, so that was good, but not according to plan. Not according to my plan. Homeschool is such a give and take. And it's hard not to feel intense pressure to prove myself. 

I had lots of help cleaning out....four garbage bags of trash and two of give-away. I found Sister going through the "give-away" bag. Momentarily, I panicked. Then she looked at me and said, "Mom, thanks for giving this stuff away. I really don't want it." Her attitude was so different this time.

So...as I list out all my complaints, all the ways life hasn't gone according to my perfect plan, I realize my heart lacks gratitude and that I am, in fact, incredibly and richly blessed. His mercies are new every morning. I am very much looking forward to a fresh start tomorrow. In. Every. Way.

Night.