Mm..Hi.

Yikes. I am stunned to realize I haven't been here in four months. The days are long and the years are short, right!?

I feel like we are running a marathon at a sprinter's pace. We've rushed to complete (or at least get a good start) on about a million house projects. And there are a million more. This is, after all, the "I love stress house." (So named by The Engineer.)

We had a wonderful and quiet Christmas. The grands were here for Christmas day and mama joined us shortly thereafter.

Christmas afternoon my MIL and I began emptying the girls' bedroom into their bathroom…and then we moved downstairs to the living room and began taking down the tree and packing Christmas into tubs, which were promptly hauled back up to the attic. And then we emptied the rest of upstairs. What wouldn't fit in bathrooms, we squeezed into the living room and entrance hall.

December 26th found our living room in a very pregnant state…we even fit the guest bed and crib in there! (And we EVEN had guests sleep in the guest bed IN the living room!)

My MIL had begun the wallpaper stripping the week after our littlest (I've got to figure out a blog name for her…) arrived. A few days postpartum, I was helping strip wallpaper. Because it was everywhere. Our babysitter helped strip wallpaper. Our dear friends helped strip wallpaper. It was even on the ceiling!!! My nails are still splitting/peeling from the damage months of stripping wallpaper caused.

And then we repaired plaster…and caulked…and primed…and painted.

And then we stripped the floors. And repaired the floors. And made a hasty stain decision. (Don't EVER, EVER, EVER rush the stain decision!) And speculated in vain hope that a coat of poly would make things better. So…the next morning the floors looked like someone coated them with cherry coke plus red food coloring. I cried. The Engineer was gracious and told me not to "worry your pretty little head about it." We decided to strip 'em again and do it right. And that, my friends, is love. We did have a few, ahem, discussions.

Our poor children went to sleep for weeks to the hum of a floor sander and then to hand sanders as we stripped the edges and corners…and the rustle of plastic as we passed back and forth through the "dust barrier." OH. MY. It was quite an ordeal. What doesn't kill you (your marriage!) makes you stronger, right!? Ha! Roughly six weeks after we began…six weeks of three children sleeping in the living room…we finished. And it was worth every minute! The floors are beautiful!!! (I can't wait to do the downstairs!!! And we WON'T make a hasty stain decision EVER again!) (And we hadn't pulled an "all-nighter" since the night before our old house went on the market. Whew!)

Side note: We'd mentioned needing to dissect a cow's heart to some friends… who happen to be adventurous chefs…who at the last minute invited us for a little pre-tartare dissection. (We left well before tartare was prepared, but we did take home a little sliver, which I prepared per instruction and the children each tasted during dinner!)

The dissection was incredibly interesting. Learning about the way God creates our physical hearts…and a cow's heart…amaze me.

So back to the floors…we finally have quarter round down in about half the upstairs. The rest is just stacked in the guest room, only it's so long it spans the width of the room. I felt bad for recent guests as they tripped over the stack multiple times. We lack any form of window covering in the guest room. The boys' room still retains the original urine yellow mini blinds…which constantly gawk at me. But alas, paying cash is a beautiful thing. It's all on the list. And we will get to it, Lord willing, eventually.

We're also working on storage cabinets in the garage…and our bathroom is still at the half-way point. The guest bath is in rough shape! We had a four year old guest ask to use the bathroom. She stood in the doorway and said, "I'll just hold it." Ha ha ha. OH my. And we have lots of trim half painted. All in good time. The progress, however slow it feels, is encouraging! I've posted lots of pics of our progress via instagram (wantingwhatihave).

This baby girl is such a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful gift. The children frequently ask, "Mama, how did we EVER live without her?!"

She is simply the most loved, kissed baby ever! And she will soon, very soon, have a new brother joining her.

Meet our precious baby boy. He was one on valentine's day!!! Words fail me. I never dreamed - not in a million years - we'd be here.

He and baby girl are only six months apart and will be in the same grade! (Though she would be the baby of the grade, so we will see…) Just…well, the circumstances surrounding all of this…trying for so long, feeling that pull at our hearts but seeing all doors close, the peace and contentment God gave us right where we were…and then bam! Pregnant! And all seemed well…12 weeks of ultrasounds weekly…the prediction of a routine, normal pregnancy…only to eventually be slapped with the reality of loss.

The pull, the desire, it remained. The Engineer was ready to begin the process of adoption, but only if I was. Finally, after nearly a year of trying and trying and praying and praying, my heart was there. Ready. And we began. And you already know the story.

We started the process, only to learn God was knitting a precious little one together in my womb. And we knew - there really wasn't any discussion, simply affirmation from one to the other, that we were still called to adopt. That we still wanted to adopt. And so we proceeded.

We were matched in the fall and just last week, we got the call we've been waiting for! "Travel Approval." We leave for China in a few weeks. And we are scrambling. Running hard, on adrenaline and excitement.

We are taking the older two and I think my heart might break in half when we say goodbye to the younger two. I'll be nursing baby girl right up until I step foot on that plane. (Any tips on flying and pumping, etc. welcomed!!!) I'm hoping she will miss me as much as I miss her and upon our homecoming, we can fall right back into rhythm. We'll see. I'm thankful God is sovereign and the timing of everything is no surprise to Him and I can rest in that.

I don't know how we will manage when we get home. An eight month old and a fourteen month old?! But I am confident that when He calls, He equips. He is faithful and good. He doesn't change like shifting sand. His grace is sufficient and His mercies are new every morning. I'm leaning hard on these truths and preaching the Gospel to myself. He is sovereign and that is a beautiful, wonderful encouragement.

My heart is aching for our boy right now - oh, yes, to hold him, but even more than that, his world is about to be rocked. He's about to be thrust into the arms of a family who doesn't look or smell or talk like anyone or anything he is familiar with. His world is about to be shattered. We're praying God is preparing his heart…and ours. 

We made an impromptu decision to leave town a few weeks ago. We hadn't been away non work-related in two years.

It was a nice change of both pace and scenery. We worked ahead in school and packed up what we hadn't completed and barely did any of it. We studied things more along the lines of mud fighting (physics), map making (cartography), bleaching animal bones in peroxide (chemistry/biology), hiking (PE), drawing (art), and a lot of reading.

The Engineer and I worked feverishly to complete adoption training and I had a little freelance job to wrap up. I'm not sure why, but relaxing was really hard during this time away. The kids did great, but The Engineer and I struggled to just relax.

I felt disconnected…like I wasn't all "there." I hear that's not unusual in the latter stages of adoption. There is still that lingering sense that someone is missing. And he is. So anyway…we did have fun and it was nice to be away just us.

We celebrated twelve years of marriage in January and our thirty-third birthdays in March, during our time away. These are sweet years.

The older three are playing soccer this spring. Little Man scored 3/4 goals at his last game. Sister is loving the game and the friendships even more. And Little Bit, well, I think I've heard other parents refer to playing soccer at her age (4) as "herd ball." That about sums it up.

We are still homeschooling and it looks like we'll continue on that path next year. We'll see what the summer holds and how we adjust as a family of seven. For now, I can't imagine our days any other way. (I NEVER thought I'd say that.)

Baby girl has two teeth and seems to be working on more.

I bought a stack of boy fabric last week and am working on making shorts and pajama pants for our newest little guy. The sewing bug has bitten again - it's been a while! And it's so fun!

Currently there's a crib and bedding and a mattress sitting in our entry hall…it's crazy how the Lord provides. My sister helped me get in touch with a sweet local girl who was wanting to give her crib, etc. to an adoptive or foster care family…and she gave it to us!!! We are so thankful! (Thanks, MC!)

So we'll have two cribs set up - one in the boys' room and one in the girls' room. Crazy!!!

I love this picture! She was SO excited about giving her bro his birthday gifts.

The Engineer made an awesome bow for Little Man.

Look at the delight on his face!

Oh the arrows he's already lost…mostly because he's convinced he'll successfully take out a bird. He's not quite there, yet.

This was his first shot! Not bad at all!!!

Love this boy, love our family. It's wild and crazy. It hit me recently, that we really only have a very short window of time together. Every day they are growing and getting bigger. One day, not too far off, they will be all grown up, Lord willing. And just like they grew up and started feeding themselves, and just like they grew up and started bathing themselves, and just like they grew up and started buckling themselves, Lord willing, they're going to grow up and fly the nest. Oh, I want to be faithful!

I hope you're doing well. I'm not sure when I'll be back…these people in my home need me constantly. And it's just a season. A very, very fleeting season. And I want to drink deeply. I miss this space. This time. But it is what it is and our days are rich and full. As Sister said, "It's a beautiful mess." (With a  little screaming and some fits, etc. thrown in!)

Hopefully I'll get to blog a little from China. We'd so appreciate your prayers - my heart will be stretched, half in China and half with my babies here. And please pray for our little guy, our "China brother." Pray God prepares his heart for the shock that is to come and pray God gives us wisdom and strength. Many, many thanks! Happy Monday, y'all!

Yo...What UP!?

Aren't you excited to see the inside of our silverware drawer?! Our kitchen has four drawers. One extremely narrow. Two that are pretty narrow. And then the work horse of all drawers. The mother of all our drawers, if you will.

I had her jam packed...after rearranging kitchen drawers forty-eight times...and had finally figured out the best configuration. Only, there was so much more potential inside that drawer. Potential that just couldn't be realized with plastic, shallow silverware dividers.

I shared my ideas with The Engineer...who promptly brought in his measuring tape, graph paper, and pencil and we set to work...both of us spewing ideas, him sketching...

The next time I saw the drawer it looked like this. Get this, it's all easily removed. Like, comes out in one piece. I was floored. The man is amazing. AMAZING. The grooves...he hand sanded each one. It's perfect.

And then he painted and installed it...and now I've filled it and we are SO enjoying it! I love the contrasting colors. It feels like the space in that drawer is doubled. Everything has a home. It's awesome. The compartments are taller than the plastic dividers were, so more can be stacked in each compartment. I'm lovin' it. He's good, y'all.



While he worked on that, I took this baby out (on loan from friends) and pressure washed the house and sidewalk and driveway. Pressure washing is messy business. I decided I'd sport my running shorts and an old pink tank top. The Engineer okayed my clothing choice - which I'd NEVER wear in public. Our house is set back a decent bit from the street. I really thought I'd be fine...you know, far enough away that anyone passing by wouldn't really notice my, um, choice of clothing. In particular that top that was fitting a wee bit snug across my belly.

I was wrong.

I had two different neighbors (both men) drive up our driveway to visit. One came back a second time. I was slightly mortified. Lesson learned.

Anyway, the house and sidewalk, etc. look fantastic! I'm pleased with the results. And I had a blast knocking that stuff off the house. What instant progress...that's not quickly undone! (smile!)

Hands down this is my fav piece of art Sister produced this year. I'm in love. The bottom corner says, "I speak chic." That's so her. Every time I lay eyes on this fine work, I smile. BIG. (It's a self-portrait.)

And this...this was sort of one of those out of body experiences that occur every once in a while. This would be Little Man and his kindergarten class walking into their kindergarten graduation to "Pomp and Circumstance."

I mean...I feel like I'm about to offend a bunch of people. What's up with kindergarten graduation?

I kind of cringed during the whole thing...there were a handful of women weeping. Hicky-snot crying. Little Man nearly burst into tears when they sang their closing song...it was about leaving kindergarten and moving on...He was adorable. Precious. This was a really big deal to him.

I mean...I don't know. I was just happy kindergarten was over because it meant I'd have my baby back at home with me. No tears here. I'm thinking a program would be more than sufficient. The cap and gown seemed a bit much to me. Thoughts?

In closing, one of the ministers of the church affiliated with this particular school went on and on about how fortunate we are as parents to have had that school lay a foundation for our child's life...and now we could go forth and build upon the foundation they had laid. He went on to encourage us to begin getting involved in our child's life...to begin training him in the way he should go...it was offensive. I have friends who adore this program. I don't mean to step on toes. This just isn't our thing. We've been working since before this boy was born to build a foundation...with Christ as the cornerstone. We've prayed for this child long before conception. We've been involved. We are involved. Very involved. We've been training. We are training. And by the grace of God, He will redeem our mistakes and shortcomings and utter failures. We pray that his sins will find him out, that God will hold him close and that when he grows old, he will not depart from truth.

But - all that said, it meant The Engineer took the day off and we got to hang as a family and that was super fun! Celebrating Little Man and his year in kindergarten was special! We made a big deal of him...and he glowed.

The in-laws came in town for the weekend - again, super fun!

Sister, sweet Sister. You are getting so big! You are so thoughtful. So precious. My heart swells with love for you. You're a little bookworm, too.

And my Little Man. You are a dear. A fearless, wild and crazy little man.

It is such a sweet journey seeing the Lord work in their hearts and lives...every now and then I get a tiny glimpse of the fruit of our labors, of God's faithfulness...in their choices and actions. Oh, don't get me wrong, we totally don't have it together, I just mean I see fruit in their lives...little, tiny glimpses...just enough to encourage me... and it is good. (No worries, nothing like a throw-down, head turning, screaming tantrum in Target {by a three year old} to keep me humble!)

They love their grandfather.

LOVE this pic!

And this one, too.

Switching gears...Mother's Day 2013...HOME RUN!!! BEST EVER!!! The Engineer and the children gave me hydrangeas. One of my most favorite flowers EVER!!! My grandmother had two huge hydrangeas planted against the back of the boat house at the lake...I remember summer after summer of taking in the beauty of those blooms. And now every time I look out my kitchen window or the back door I smile. And every time I pull in...I grin. They are beautiful and they scream "LOVE" to me.

We have four days of school under our belts...so far I LOOOOVE having them all home. It's still pretty early, huh!? Sister loves the companionship. Little Man is flying through math. I'm wondering if we need to move up a level? Ahhh...the beauty of homeschooling. Little Bit is working the Sing, Spell, Read, & Write for 4-P...her words every morning, "dis is boring." Oh well.

I'm reading Managers of Their Homes...recommended by a sweet new friend. The book is challenging me. I've never and I mean never scheduled every thirty minutes of my day. I'm not sure I can survive doing life like that. But, the authors are quick to pour in grace...the schedule is there to help you, to serve you...not to make you a slave. So anyway, I'm going to implement a schedule for us (maybe not every thirty minutes)...we need one. I don't think I can teach two children and not have some type of schedule in place...we'll figure it out. (smile)

That's one convincing black eye, eh? The children had me for a split second. That's a lot of eye shadow...

We've taken down every door in our bathroom...that would be 14 bi-fold doors...and have nearly stripped and sanded every one of them. (And yes, we were in a very well ventilated space and I wore gloves, glasses, and a mask!) That peach paint is going. Soon. The Engineer and I both dread sanding down all the trim and walls. Peach latex right on top of "institutional green"(The Engineer's name for it) oil based paint...so it's already peeling pretty bad. Nice.

It's been fun working on these projects together. You get to do a lot of talking when you strip 14 bi-fold doors. (And - oh gross! The roach eggs on the back of some of them. Eek!!! Gross me out!-They're all old...remember, I love some Demon WP!) So anyway, it's been hard work, but a lot of fun. I'm so thankful for The Engineer.

Oh...we have our homestudy in hand and have begun putting together our dossier! Woop woop! Basically, we are in an intense "paper work" stage. Lots to gather. Lots to have certified. And somehow we missed that we needed our passports as part of our dossier...so we have a bit of a hold up there. I was frustrated at first, and then was reminded that it is all in the Lord's timing. He has already orchestrated the precious one He has for our family. I am trying really hard to drink deeply of these last few weeks of just the five of us...and yet I can barely wait for it to be the six of us and a little while after that, the seven of us!!! Yay!

Changing gears entirely. My heart is so heavy for our dear friends who are walking through profound loss. Watching them...reading their words as they flesh out their faith...standing firm on the truths in scripture...clinging to Jesus...preaching the Gospel to themselves and everyone they are in contact with...it is amazing. In the midst of deep, deep loss and heartbreak, their eyes are fixed on Jesus. They make me want to love Him more. If you are so inclined, read her most recent blog post, and be spurred on to love Jesus more. And please, pray for them. And if you don't know the Lord, I pray that this family's story might be used to draw you to Him. He is radiating from their lives, from their brokenness and pain like a BRIGHT ray of sunshine. It is only because of Christ that we have hope. To God be the glory.