Sunday, November 20, 2011
I've been missing y'all.
I shot that wedding I'd mentioned. It was a family wedding.
I was so, so nervous. I kept dreaming someone knocked my camera off the tripod and broke it and I didn't have a backup and we didn't get any pictures of the wedding day. Seriously, dreamed that a few times.
I prayed and prayed God would help me think through every click of a dial, through every adjustment, that I'd use my equipment well, and that I'd capture it all in a way they'd be thrilled with.
I sweated a LOT. I learned a LOT.
A word about The Engineer...I couldn't have done it without him. He toted everything, held the camera when my arms were exhausted, chased the sun and bounced the light right where I needed it. He was amazing. Indispensable. He was my biggest fan, my encourager. Definitely my better half.
I'm going to give you a running update between wedding pictures.
I have zero pictures of my own children from the last two weeks of our lives. Every camera card I had was full...full of wedding pics. I was terrified of deleting them. I have since burned them all to disc and cleared off the memory cards.
We spent a week in Vidalia. The Engineer led his assessment and he kicked rear.
He completely rocked the entire thing. Got only positive comments.
The kids and I bedded down in the hotel...
Sister spent the first night throwing up. I literally got on my knees and pleaded with God to spare the rest of our family. And He did. And we gave thanks.
On night two, Little Bit ate a tube of toothpaste. I felt like a great mom. Poison Control was most helpful. Thankfully, it was a travel tube and she hadn't consumed enough to be "toxic." A little milk and a lot of tears later (because I took the tube away and used a towel to scrub out her mouth) and she was just fine.
Day three brought an exciting morning thanks to a horrific sound in the walls...like every pipe was going to burst. Little Bit was up and has taken quite an interest in the potty. She had just flushed it when the noise began. And I hadn't been in there with her.
I wasn't sure what, but I was sure she'd flushed something...so I called the front desk.
Maintenance was already on the way. Only, they couldn't find anything wrong in our bathroom.
I was relieved to learn it was the man upstairs. Not us. Whew.
Day four had it's own excitement. We'd just finished drying off after a long afternoon at the hotel pool when Little Bit declared she was going swimming again. I, of course, told her "no."
She looked me in the eye and walked right over to the pool steps. I was standing across the pool from her and told her again, "NO."
Without taking her eyes off mine she defiantly stepped into the pool...only she lost her balance and though she was on the steps and could touch, she couldn't right herself. She just thrashed, face down. I ran and jumped and cleared almost half the pool and swam the rest of the way to her. It was scary. Really, really scary. She gasped and threw up some water.
As soon as I could see she was breathing and would be fine I looked her in the eyes and said at least five times, "I told you not to get in the pool."
We got to spend some time on a farm feeding and petting horses. The same sweet friends who took us to the farm treated me and the children to dinner twice (The Engineer worked some loooong days) and enlisted the children's help decorating their Christmas tree.
We've been home for a week and my every spare moment has consisted of finishing freelance projects.
And I've been reminded afresh of why I quit freelance and why I just need to say "no."
Nausea has set in and I am so thankful for God's gracious provision. It hasn't been nearly as bad as with the others. I think the fact that we waited so long for this precious baby has made the sickness more bearable.
Last night, at 10:30 I told The Engineer I was super hungry. He went to Krystals for chili cheese fries and a cherry slush. That is so gross, I know. It tasted SO good to me. That's the first just, disgusting choice I've made food wise. Hopefully the last.
I cried a few nights ago. I felt rotten. Nauseated. I told The Engineer I felt like a terrible mother...no energy for playing with the kids...I felt like I was doing everything halfway. I was grumpy during homeschool. Just kind of a punk in general.
He held me and reminded me this is only a season. This too, shall pass. And he has been so supportive. So sweet. I love that man. With every pregnancy his compassion and love and kindness seem to grow.
I'm re-reading The Mission Of Motherhood because it was like a balm to my soul the first time I read it and my soul needs some balm right now.
It's the kind of book that reminds you why you're doing what you're doing...why this whole mothering thing is eternal business. That God is glorified in what feels like the mundane.
Right now, I need to be reminded of that. That God is glorified in the mundane...in the washing of dishes and clothes.
He is glorified in the vacuuming and the mopping, in correcting the umpteenth math paper...in reminding Little Man for the millionth time that there is only one Q in the alphabet.
So here's to a new and fresh week. Here's to living life in full color. Here's to noticing and seeing. And here's to washing dishes and pouring milk and even bouts of nausea - to the glory of God.