Civic Duty

It's been a pretty chanllenging day, or two! MW has begun to exude a very silly and defiant streak. My realization of my need for wisdom and patience from God has just increased about a hundred fold! I CANNOT do this in my flesh. I am so thankful for my heavenly Father and that He is with me. What are these acts of "silly defiance?" Things like putting chapstick on Molly, her American Girl Doll's eyes! (At least it wasn't gum, right K?) Or throwing a cup full of water out of the bathtub. No, not pouring it out, or sloshing a little over the edge, I'm talking a full plastic cup of water chunked out of the tub! Or like being told to get in her carseat and getting in sideways so she can't be buckled and thinking she is SO funny! I tell her to do something and she knows to say, "Yes ma'am." Instead she says, "Yes sir-ee ma'am." Followed by cupping her mouth in her hand and cackling. It has just been one thing after another. I understand she's three and a half and silliness is to be expected and is a lot of fun...sometimes. We've just got to learn when it is appropriate and when it is not.

This afternoon she made my heart so sad. She told me a bold faced lie. T3 had been sitting contentedly in his highchair and out of the blue, he started screaming. MW was right there beside him. I saw she had an office clip in her hand. I asked what she'd done with it. She told me she brushed his cheek with it. I asked her if she'd pinched his cheek or clipped it on him. She looked me in the eyes and said, "I did not." I believed her. I calmed T3 down and went on preparing dinner. A few minutes later I noticed a red welt type line on his cheek and it was obvious that she had, indeed, pinched his cheek with the clip. When I confronted her, she hid under the kitchen table and then admitted she had pinched him and that she had lied to me. Seeing sin in my own child breaks my heart. I know it's there. I know she was born with a black heart. I know. I know. But it hurts so much to see her choose to sin. It makes my heart heavy. I fear the only brokenness she experiences is the brokenness of knowing she disappointed me or T. I pray that God will convict me of my own sin and break me. That He will soften me. And, that my children will grow up seeing parents who are broken over their sin and who are aware of their desperate need for a Savior. I hope and pray my life, the words I choose to speak, and my reactions to MW's every move, will in some way, be used by God to point her to the cross. Ugh. It's heavy. Having little ones is so much fun. They say and do the most precious and hillarious things, but it also stretches my heart. Part of me wants to put her in a box and protect her and make every decision for her, so that she won't ever fall or get hurt...but I don't think that is real love. The other part of me is thrilled to see her making some really great decisions and to see her make a bad choice and bear up under the consequences. T and I are honored and thrilled God has given her to us and that we get to be here as she does make the great and not so great choices. I pray we will love her through them with the Gospel. Not in our own strength, but in His strength.

On a lighter note, we voted! MW and T3 accompanied me. Thankfully someone had left a "pre-filled" spec ballot on the table. While I filled out my ballot, MW took upon herself the important duty of filling out her (spec) "ballot" and we both walked over to turn them in. The sweet little man monitoring the counting machine played along and gave her an "I Voted" sticker. As we walked to the car she asked me why we vote. I began with this complicated answer and overheard a woman say, "It's your civic duty." And I thought, now that's a simple answer. So I told MW. Later this afternoon we stopped by the printer and as we walked in MW stopped, cocked her hip to the side, and informed me that it's her "civic booty" to vote. Civic booty...Ha! Not quite...

T3 is cutting more teeth! He is a happy little guy. At about noon I went busting into his bedroom, just knowing he'd be awake and ready to get sis from school, and the little man was sound asleep. I quietly backed out of the room and grabbed my camera to capture the moment. Too precious! After a few pics, he was stirring and I picked him up. He grabbed "bo bear" and put his thumb in his mouth and hunkered down into my neck and shoulder. Oh the joys!

And it's on that sweet note that I'll say adieu.