It Was Really Fun

Today I abandoned most of those tasks I should have been doing...instead, I played blocks with Little Man, took pics of Little Bit, and then played outside with Sister and Little Man. We even picnicked in front of a movie. So fun. I should definitely do that more often!

Hi.

To every one of you who called, wrote (yes, snail mail from Canada), emailed, or commented, and to all of you who prayed for me...thank you so much. God used each of you to encourage my heart! Thank you.

Yep, some seasons are harder than others. In the midst of this hard season, God has faithfully lifted my head and when I have wanted to set my eyes on the ground, He has lifted them to the heavens. He is giving me joy and contentment in places and ways I haven't experienced before. He's even giving me a tiny bit of love for Warrior. (I said TINY. Really, really tiny. I did love him more, but then he ate my black leather gloves mama gave me. He took them right off my shelf. See, he's so tall, he can reach lots. And my love for him is quite conditional. So...)

We hosted a missionary couple in our home last week. As we prepared for them (renovations are still going on...so the house is torn apart), I doubted whether or not God had truly called us to host. With everything out of place (we'd planned to be finished), getting ready was fairly stressful. I considered calling it off, but felt confident we were supposed to host, not to mention, we'd made the commitment. They'd be coming home from Wednesday night church with us...Tuesday afternoon I realized I'd have to do Wednesday night church by myself, T had to work. I felt totally overwhelmed and exhausted when I thought about how I would handle things...three children plus myself through a supper line, silverware, napkins, and drinks, the inevitable bathroom trip, finding a high chair, the logistics of getting it to the table, etc., etc. Let alone figuring out how to get all of us home (missionaries, too), get the dogs situated, Little Bit nursed, and the two older children always want a second dinner...how would I do it all...graciously? And without casting our guests aside? More to the point, without losing my patience?

You know how?

The Holy Spirit worked every detail out. As soon as I entered the fellowship hall for dinner, a dear family who has in many ways, mentored us, invited us to sit with them. They helped me with the children. It was wonderful! After the service, I approached "our" couple to talk logistics of getting them to our house and guess what? They needed another 20-30 minutes to rehearse. (They're musicians.)

PERFECT!

I was able to get home, deal with closing the gate and the dogs and nurse the baby and put her to bed and get the other two their dinner and into pajamas. And then, we were able to calmly welcome our guests into our home.

And. It. Was. A. Delightful. Time.

(Yes, those are Sister's clothes on the Little Man. They were "twins.")

I am so glad we stayed the course. Oh, the blessings! It was wonderful! Our missions' conference is one of the highlights of our year!

Changing gears a bit...

Renovation wise...there are the dreams...

and the makings of the dreams...

There has been help from a kind friend for which I personally am so thankful! (He doubled as a carpenter and stand in story book reader - the children begged him to read to them.) They were hanging sheetrock...that's some HEAVY stuff. And no doubt having a man to help T hang it spared us a few frustrations.

There have been layers of paint and wallpaper...

...wheel barrow loads...

...hardwood floors to patch...

...and one really good lookin' carpenter.

That really good lookin' carpenter and I were at odds over a few things last night. We did something we haven't ever done before. In the middle of a disagreement - ok, wait, honestly, it was an argument and we were both mad, we knelt on our knees and prayed. It was hard. Really hard. There is nothing like praying, knowing God knows my heart, so I better not sugar coat things, in front of my husband, who I wanted to be guarded with. Ugh. It was hard.

But it was good. So. Good.

I can't believe that in over eight years of marriage we've never knelt in prayer together in the middle of an argument.

Can I encourage you to do that? I promise, it wasn't comfortable. It was downright awkward. But oh, how God knit our hearts together through that.

P.S. J ran this by me and it's posted with my complete blessing -T.

Sometimes...

it's just hard.

I feel lame saying that when I look at my life compared to so many other lives...but the truth is, some seasons are just hard. This seems to be a hard season. And I tend not to blog when there's a lot on my heart.

There's a lot on my heart.

T has worked an insane schedule this past week (ok, week is relative. His "ends" tomorrow, so though tomorrow will be Wednesday, it feels like Friday to me). I called in a sitter for tonight because I needed a little time to breath. Mrs. Sitter is married, and 21 weeks pregnant. She is the oldest of eight. She has experience.

Moments, literally, before she was due to arrive, Sister got a stomach ache and bolted for the bathroom, seconds after finishing, Little Man had an accident. I banished him to the tub, with his handful of almonds, to wait for me...he called to me from the bathroom that there was um, you know, p-o-o-p on the floor. I was like, "what???" So I left Little Bit (to whom I was feeding squash) to investigate. Evidently when sister had her stomach ache, she neglected to flush...and Scout had a little fiesta in the bathroom and left party favors (from the toilet) on the floor...I stuck the wet Little Man in the tub and went to get the lysol so I could begin cleaning up the filth, when I walked into the kitchen and discovered Sister had taken over feeding Little Bit. You might have seen what that looks like. Did I mention the kitchen was a wreck? And there was a knock on the door. Mrs. Sitter. I tried to get things back in order. Sort of. I mean, I pretty much left her with total chaos. I did stay long enough to get the bathroom cleaned up and the kiddos bathed...and then I went to leave, but couldn't find my keys...so glad we have a spare! And off I went. I came home at 9:30 and...all my children were asleep. My house was clean. The dishes were done. My stove was wiped down; the table wiped off and the chairs tucked beneath. I nearly cried.

And Mrs. Sitter told me she'd called her husband to tell him they would not have three children close together. "It's just a lot. I mean, I was trying to feed the baby and Little Man needed me and well, it's just a lot. I mean, I feel sorry for you." (Don't read this wrong...she was being nice.)

When I heard her words, I laughed! Relief. It was so nice to look another woman in the eyes after she'd walked a few hours in my shoes and to know she understood. Like, it was so nice. (And btw, I don't want her to feel sorry for me. I LOVE being home with my children and I am thankful to God and my husband for this opportunity. I would NOT trade this for anything! But, sometimes, it is hard.)

* my kitchen floor after ONE day...

Now, I know many of you have like umpteen kids and handle every single day with total poise and righteousness. My hat is off to you. I however, do not. I thought I was doing alright...and then we had a third child...and then that dog...and now I see my sin like I've never seen it before. I am learning what it means to walk in the Spirit in an entirely new way. I am learning that my flesh cannot and will not sustain me.

Please don't misunderstand my heart on this. I love my husband and our wonderful children, and I would not trade this "job" for any other, however, sometimes, it's just hard. And hard is okay, even good. It keeps me on my knees.