The Bebes

Can I just say, "THANK YOU!" Thank you for your sweet phone calls and comments and emails. You encourage me in so many ways and I am so thankful for you.

Before I had that good cry last Friday, Sister and I did manage to cook a whole chicken. We diced onions and sauteed them in butter with garlic. We rinsed that chicken and Sister oohed and ahhed over the lack of "inner'ds." Her comments kept me laughing. This was the first time she'd intentionally touched a raw chicken. At first, it was only with one finger and a look of disgust.

We talked about the ways food can minister to others - and the importance and beauty of learning to cook.

We boiled that baby until it was falling off the bone. At which time we pulled it out, sliced it open, and began "picking it." Little Man wanted "in" on the action. We gave him the fat and bones. He was hilarious. Every time he stripped a bone clean, he'd hold it up and in his toughest manly man voice he'd shout, "Anoder bone!!!!"

And we did make homemade chicken salad. Did you know you can take the meat you picked off the bone and put in in your kitchen aid with the "beater" paddle, turn her on for a bit, and she yields the most wonderful consistency of shredded chicken for chicken salad? The Engineer's cousin shared this with me. I'm trying not to think about how many weeks of my life I've spent picking and hand shredding/tearing chicken.

Monday The Engineer was off work and it was wonderful to me, to have him see the way our days run.

He also kept Little Man occupied for part of homeschool. They worked on building more book shelves for the library. {That sounds so sophisticated...it's really the den, but once the shelves are up, we're naming it "the library."}

This outfit was killing me. Another benefit of homeschooling. I'm not sure my pride could take going out in this. But, I'm learning to swallow. {I smile.}

We had fun with this little activity. Sister was eager to read each page aloud and then had a blast decorating with stickers.

As we live and learn, I'm tweaking things...figuring out how better to run this wonderful task of homeschooling. This week, I went over our meal plan with Sister - expressly because I incorporated a planned snack into each day. This has eliminated fussing over what the children do and don't want to eat. It's simplified things.

Before this week, during "snack time" I bumbled around the office/homeschool room, putting up this and straightening that. This week, I'm using our snack time to read aloud. We're still reading through the Little House series. We're so close to the end. Little Town on the Prairie has touched my heart again and again. Mary is getting ready to leave for college and Laura is deeply aware of how much life will change without her dear sister at home. I keep thinking of my own sisters and of my girls and their relationship. I pray they love one another well and deeply, as Laura and Mary did.

In a moment of desperation I handed this wooden puzzle/shapes set to Little Man. He was occupied for almost an hour. Sweet.

And all of that brings me to today. I spent the early hours of this morning with Little Bit cuddled in my arms, rocking back and forth beside the humidifier. She looped one arm around my neck and sucked her middle two fingers on the other hand...for quite a while. She'd cough and then cry a little.

Meanwhile, Little Man had come downstairs and announced his throat hurt and he was sick. I gave him some water and a cough drop, but really thought he was hamming it up for some attention. I dressed him and sent him upstairs to get his shoes for school. He cried and told me he "couldn't." I took him in my arms and just as I began explaining that whining isn't acceptable, he threw up all over me and down the steps.

And I cried out, "Oh Lord HELP ME!!!" (I usually dry-heave when they're sick...) as I tried in vain to catch it while we ran to the bathroom.

After his bath, but before the next few uh, episodes, he grinned at me and said, "Mama, you were weally wong. I WAS sick."

So we were "that" family at the doctor's office, you know, the ones with the throw up bowl. It was like the parting of the red sea. Everyone moved as far away as they could. {I don't blame them!}

Of course, croup and throwing up aren't enough. Warrior had to leave his mark on the way out the door. I'm just thankful I could haul that one outside and scrub/hose it down!

Yes, her hand is in his mouth. He took her pretzel. And she was okay with that.

Oddly enough, despite the throwing up, this has been a good day. I have LOVED holding Little Bit. I haven't even minded having a snot soaked shoulder...because that's where she lays her sweet little head.

These days are rich. And good. And sometimes gross.

And God is so in the details. The mailman just brought the mail. What was in there? A handmade card with a handwritten note from a sweet friend. This is what she wrote:

"I made this card with you in mind, and I hope you get this on a day that you need some encouragement....I pray that this year will not only teach your children much, but also that it will provide many opportunities for the Lord to bless you and teach you through your kids. I hope you will (more than ever) experience the grace and love and blessings of God as you instruct those little ones."

Precious. Thank you sweet friend. And how awesome to belong to a merciful heavenly Father who knows our needs before we even ask.

Blessings to you on this day!

From Where Does My Help Come?

I'm home this Lord's Day morning. Little Bit has a runny nose, a cough, and the worst case of "the runs" she's experienced to date. I am thankful for a washing machine, a bathtub, fresh running water, soap, and comet. Despite her not feeling well, it's been a quiet morning. It's been nice.

Last week marked the first full week of homeschooling. I wish I could tell you it was wonderful! Well, it was. The homeschool part was wonderful. But, by Friday evening, I had melted to tears. I'd been trying to get my floors swept/vacuumed since Monday. They'd gotten so nasty I didn't want to go barefoot. I'd been in bed by nine most nights and risen between 5:15 and 6 all but one morning, and still, there weren't enough hours in the day to accomplish my responsibilities. Upstairs was a wreck. My ironing pile had grown to massive heights. I felt like my house was out of control. And I was physically exhausted. And easily aggravated.

And it hit me. Roughly 12-15 hours of my week is now consumed with homeschooling. And my other responsibilities haven't lightened up an ounce. How do you recover that many hours? How do you make it work? The investment in our children is completely worth it. And it is hard.

One experienced homeschooling mama told me until my children are a little older, and more able to help with household responsibilities, I need to either hire help, or just let it go. I'm not hiring help. I don't want to let it go.

I am in the process of training our children to help. They make their beds, clean the guest bathroom, Sister puts her clothes away and Little Man carries his to his room, and Monday afternoons find us dusting the house - I put The Engineer's socks on their hands/arms and they dust the bottoms of the furniture. And right now, that takes more time than doing it myself. But, I know it will pay off in the near future, as they learn and develop the necessary skills and eye...

So...the first week was good. The time spent homeschooling was wonderful. But I'm not going to sugar coat it. It's been really hard to strike a balance. {And a good cry Friday night did help.}

But as hard as striking that balance is proving to be, the sacrifices are completely worth it. I wish you could hear Sister laugh. She has the most beautiful laugh and I am hearing it so much more. It's like a little wall around her heart has come down. It is good.

A friend of mine shared in her blog, regarding homeschooling her two boys, that it's as if homeschooling takes everything you want to make a priority and forces it to become a priority. I don't think I can put it any better than that.

It is hard. It is a sacrifice. And it is rich. And good. And wonderful. I wouldn't trade the time I am getting with our children for ANYTHING. God clearly called us on this path. His grace is sufficient. God forbid I drop my eyes and keep them on my floors.

One Step Forward, Three Steps Back

Today was a one step forward, three steps back kind of day.

I accidentally and unknowingly threw a dirty diaper in the washing machine. Didn't realize my mistake until it was a bit too late.

For seven years we've dealt with a finicky dishwasher. Sometimes gently pushing the start button worked, sometimes you had to bang the stew out of it. Sometimes opening and closing the door worked, other times you had to stand just so and hold your breath. Well...after seven years of this, she's finally completely and utterly, officially FINISHED. Done.

The new dishwasher should arrive a week from today.

In the meantime, I'm hand washing. It's taken me back to the first two years we were married and livin' on love and hand washing dishes...which looks drastically different with three children.

I'm also realizing what a blessing and privilege having a dishwasher is. And I regret my ungrateful heart attitude about, of all things, having to load/unload a dishwasher. I will be very happy to load/unload a dishwasher come next Thursday.

Homeschooling is still going wonderfully. This morning Sister and I dropped Little Bit and Little Man off at MDO/school and headed for a 9:10 dental appointment, with plans to start school around 10. We left nearly two hours later. I have learned a hard lesson. NO MORE DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENTS on Thursday mornings. I so look forward to Thursdays because Sister and I have sweet one on one time. Today, the morning was gone. We rushed through school. We didn't do a special project, as planned (we were going to make homemade chicken salad). It made my heart so sad to rush through everything. However, she kept a cheerful attitude, which encouraged me.

So I'm learning. We're learning...what works and what doesn't work. I went to the grocery Tuesday night because I can't figure out how to fit that in during the day. I don't like going at night and missing out on that time with the fam...so we're figuring it out. We're learning and there are kinks, but oh my, it's SO WORTH IT! I promise you I see a sweetness in Sister that hasn't been there in a long time. Not that she hasn't been precious and sweet all along, there's just a certain tenderness that we're seeing a lot more of. We're thankful.

Earlier this week we took on another sewing project. I'd bought several camisoles from Target a while back. So...I got the jar of fabric scraps, my pincushion, and one of those camisoles and turned Sister loose. She pawed through the scraps and picked her favs.

She laid them out just so, pinned 'em on, asked me to cut out a few things - you know, like hearts...and then had me stitch them on exactly where she'd placed them.

She designed and cut out a belt to go with her ensemble...forget hemming. Who has time for such things?

She certainly has a way with fabrics and patterns.

And a confidence from which I am seeking to learn.

A few months ago I'd taken her to the fabric store to pick out material for yet another outfit (see pants above). I let her pick. She made some choices I wasn't totally on board with. I asked the owner what she thought, hoping for a little "back-me-up." She looked at Sister, then at me, and said, "if you're going to let her design it, I think you should let her design it." So I did. And I think the pants turned out just darling.

When Sister finished the top, she insisted it would go well with the pants, but the camisole wasn't meant for wearing out. She looked a little naked up there. So in about five minutes flat (because she really wanted to wear her new outfit to church) we whipped up some makeshift sleeves. We're in agreement they need a bit of tweaking, but they worked for last night...and today, because she insisted on wearing it again! If only I'd gotten a shot of the high heel camo rainboots she wore with it.

The girl's got style.

I Almost Forgot

Our first FULL week of homeschool began today. My MIL had been in town and let me run a quick errand while she started Sister on a worksheet. Upon my return, we walked JJ out to her car and kick started our day by saying The Pledge in the front yard.

Once back inside, we worked on letter sound recognition with a rousing game of bingo-alphabet style. Sister helped Little Man find each letter. It was pretty sweet.

We used bears as math manipulatives today. My how the children LOVED playing with them. Last night I tucked Sister into bed with a red bear and told her how I'd STOLEN one from my 4-P classroom right before Christmas. Mom, of course, found it. She made me take it back to the teacher. I don't remember all the specifics, I just remember the teacher asking me why I'd taken it and my explanation being that I hadn't really actually taken it. Santa had given it to me and that's why Mom had never seen it before.

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it?

-Jeremiah 17:9

Sister sure enjoyed doing math with the bears. After class, she had a little par-tay for those bears. Meanwhile, Little Man had a pile waging war on the office floor.

This morning Sister told me, through teary eyes, that she wants to homeschool until the is "as old as Grandma and Grandpa. Or at least until I have kids."

She also made a "friendship bracelet" while I read aloud to her. She tied it to her ankle and came to me after a few minutes, explaining that her "solar system is getting cut off." I untied the bracelet.

(Sugar babies are from the "treasure chest."

This afternoon Little Man napped in my bed while Sister and I played "re-arrange" upstairs. She and Little Man have begged us to move her bed into his room. They're now sharing a room. Sort of. We aren't quite finished figuring out where to put everything, but that didn't stop her from making invitations for a "Royal Ball."

The "Royal Ball" was held in the playroom. Sister picked out clothes for everyone but The Engineer, but only because he came straight from work. (I wore a hideous dress from college. It was a bit snug.) We danced with the lights down to Van Morrison.

Following dancing, we dined at a beautifully set dinner table (on tiny chairs in the playroom) and enjoyed a delish meal. A piece of bread, lettuce, and a hamburger, plus a side of spaghetti. Oh yum.

And then dessert.

We weren't allowed to leave the Royal Ball until we wrote down whether or not we liked the Ball and what our favorite part was...

Can you read what The Engineer wrote? "I liked the ball. My favorite thing was the hot, tall lady, and the recycling." (Sister saved all our "left overs" to recycle. We just watched an episode of Dirty Jobs where Mike Rowe documented (?) the process of picking up left over food from "The Strip" in Vegas, and turning it into slop to feed pigs. That's where Sister planned to send left overs from the Royal Ball.)

The Engineer came home with these in hand. I'm not sure how I forgot. I blamed Warrior.

Today is the twelfth anniversary of our very first date. (It's also the twelfth anniversary of the lie I told my parents so I could go on that date. -wow, this is confession post, huh? I told them I'd finished all my summer reading and the accompanying papers...) It was the night before the first day of our senior year. I still remember where we went and what I ate. You should know I'd been in love with him since the ninth grade. That first date with him only helped solidify those feelings.

I dug up an old journal...1998...and found the entry from later that night. Sigh. It was wonderful. Re-reading that tonight made me reflect. Little did I know (but, oh, how I hoped) that would be my last first date. I was clueless as to the journey, the path, upon which God would lead us.

I can't believe it's been twelve years. I can't believe I forgot and he remembered. Happy twelfth anniversary of our first date, baby!

Beautiful Days!

Little Bit took her FIRST STEPS today!!! This afternoon! To me and Sister. We held pretzels in our hands, just out of Little Bit's reach (if only she'd realized she had one in her hair). It was motivation and she took those first steps. Wooo hooo! It's bittersweet.

She has added two more words to her vocabulary: dada and mama. Oh, what's up with her hair? That's thanks to Sister.

Little Man met his 3-P teachers on Tuesday, along with several other classmates.

It was a big deal. We left his sisters at home with a sitter and spent an hour exploring his new classroom.

Here they are...ready for a day of firsts: Little Man's first day of 3-P (he'll go 2x a week), Little Bit's first day of Mother's Day Out (she'll go 1x a week this year!-nice.), Sister's first day of Homeschool, and my first day teaching her.

Sister picked her headband and shoes all by herself. She laid out the entire outfit the night before. She's not a morning person. When I woke her Thursday morning, she bolted from bed, quickly dressed, and over breakfast informed me she hadn't slept well at all.

"Why?"

"I was just so excited I couldn't get to sleep!"

We paused for a shot just before dropping the Littles off at school/MDO. Little Man went in without looking back. Like, I didn't even get that first day of school shot with his teacher. Oh well. When we got to Little Bit's room, she happily leaned into the arms reaching for her. What a blessing, I tell ya!

Hand in hand, Sister and I headed back to the car and made our way home. I just want to mention what a blessing it was to run into so many preschool staff who know we're homeschooling this year - some of them had heard through the grapevine - and to hear their words of affirmation and encouragement! To me, that is amazing.

So we headed home and tucked into our office/homeschool room.

Sister was delighted! We began with a phonics song, just to get in "school mode."

Yes, that is iced tea (decaf). It's hot around here and at 9am, iced tea is quite refreshing. Ahhh...the fun of homeschooling. She knows it's a treat! So is bringing Rex (her little animal) - and getting to take her shoes off!

After the phonics song, we move to Bible. We're going through the children's shorter catechism. Sister is practicing writing both the question and answer and then we search the Bible for the "proof texts." In other words, we turn to scripture to find out why the catechism answer is what it is. This has, so far, lead us into some good discussion and we close out the time with prayer.

Next we move along to handwriting (Zaner-Bloser). Which we follow with Language Arts (Sing, Spell, Read, & Write). I am LOVING this part! It's been a great combination of so many things and she enjoys it immensely. We sing songs, we play games, we trace letters, we sound things out. It's been wonderful!

After Language Arts we take a little break and enjoy a snack and then move on to math (Saxon K5). Sister is lovin' her some math! The first several lessons are big time review for her! We've quickly covered that ground and then made up some of our own math problems...like, take Rex for example. He had ten buttons. Sister had five buttons. Rex traded Sister two little buttons for one big button. How many buttons does Sister now have? How many does Rex have? We played with buttons and clothes pins. Sister looked at me and said, "What? This is math?"

After math we do a "fine art" project. Yesterday we made a concrete mosaic. Today we, um, colored a dollar store t-shirt with Sharpie markers. Sister drew the earth.

After our "fine art" project, we do a "domestic art" project. This week Sister learned how to make hard boiled eggs. If I could turn it into a math problem, I did. She learned about stove safety, how to turn the "eye" up or down or on, what it means to "bring it to a boil," as well as how to measure quantities with a measuring cup, etc. We enjoyed the fruits, er, eggs, of our labor!

We finish up the day with reading. She reads a short book to me and I read a chapter of Little House to her.

We have a deal that if she completes her assignment with a cheerful attitude and is careful to follow the directions, she gets a sticker. Once she has ten stickers she gets to pick something from the "treasure chest." This has proven to be incredibly motivating.

Yesterday went beautifully! As I sat there watching Sister practice writing her letters, my heart was full and I was satisfied and content and thought to myself, "there is nothing I would rather be doing, no way I'd rather have spent my time." It was a wonderful start!

Today, all three were home. I was anxious. It went great. Little Man joined us in much of what we did. He logged forty minutes in front of movies - not too bad. Little Bit napped from 10-12. It was good. It was very good.

I am still amazed at how just over a year ago, we were 100% "homeschooling is NOT FOR US." For this year, at least, God has totally turned our hearts 180 degrees. I am finding joy in something I said I would NEVER do.

This morning as we searched for those "proof texts," we read this:

"...you are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body." I Cor. 6:19-20

Little Man argued that he was his own and was NOT bought. I explained that Christians have been bought. He interrupted me and insisted he was going to pray for us right then. I was a little confused, but said "okay."

"Dear God, peas come into my heart. Pease. I just want you to come into my heart."

I was blown away and asked why he'd prayed that.

"She told me to" and he pointed to Sister.

Turns out these nights of sleeping together (since we came home from Texas) have been largely spent with Sister explaining to Little Man that he is a sinner and needs God's forgiveness. She's been begging him to ask Jesus into his heart.

Upon further discussion, I learned that Little Man doesn't think he's a sinner. As I explained that all of us are sinners and are therefore separated from God, and that that is why a perfect man had to die, Little Man BURST into tears.

"I don't want a man to die for me! I don't want him to have to die!"

We talked more. We read about Jesus' death and resurrection. Towards the end of our discussion, he settled down, but argued that Jesus and God are the same and God isn't dead. True. I explained that Jesus isn't dead either. He conquered death. He rose from the grave and now sits at the right hand of God.

At that, Little Man lost interest.

While it's clear to me that he doesn't completely understand why we need to ask Jesus to come into our hearts, to forgive us from our sins, and to save us, it is clear that the Holy Spirit is working in our little boy's heart. And for that, I am rejoicing and continuing to pray for Little Man's salvation. I mean, who knew that would take place this morning during "homeschool?"

How amazing that the God of the universe sent His only Son to die on our behalf and that God offers us forgiveness from our sins through the blood shed, the life given, by His Son, Jesus. How incredible that He chooses us. That He redeems us. That He washes us clean from all our sins and allows us to be in relationship with the living God. That is life changing. Heart altering. Amazing. It gives us hope.

Happy weekend to all of you!

PS Is it vain to tell you that my stick chandelier made it in the top ten picks?