Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Needing to Confess...

These pictures have nothing to do with this post...I just wanted to include them.

MW after school one day...with the lizard (Lallie Lizard) she got from the treasure chest thanks to the five tickets she earned for "making good decisions."

MW after lunch, chillin' on the kitchen floor...

MW and Scout coloring by the window. ...

Smart girl! Hitchin' a ride with bro...seriously, they do this for hours. Around and around the house they go with MW propped on the back of the plasma car while T3 zoom, zoom, zooms around furniture and often intentionally hits things head on. We consider the plethora of dents and scratches on the floor to be "character."

Little man having himself a good ol' time...which usually results in a real bath!

And now for the word content of the post...

Ahhhh…Friday we took T3 to the doc who prescribed prednisone…for three days. Three days that my sweet husband would be working…leaving me for the weekend with a sick baby on PREDNISONE and a four year old all to myself! (If you aren’t familiar with prednisone let me just tell you that I took it once. I always have a to do list way longer than what I could ever physically accomplish…while on prednisone I was tearing up my to do lists and still had energy left at night…it makes me unbelievably hyper! And it seems to have the same effect on my children!) Not only did T3 have croup, he also had a major case of “the runs.” By Sunday night I’d laundered and washed and washed and laundered as “the runs” were moving faster than I was. ICK! I know! So, as I was saying, Sunday night around 6:45 T came home from work to find me sitting on the bathroom floor with both children in the tub. He pulled me to my feet, kissed me, and then I asked if I could leave for a while. He graciously said, “see you later.”

I think that’s the first time in four years of child-rearing that I’ve just needed to leave for a while (as in, just walk out the door for a spell), To smell some fresh, albeit humid, air. I picked up my friend L and we went to a Mexican restaurant. No margaritas, as it was Sunday. L had already eaten dinner, so she kindly sat with me and watched while I devoured cheese dip, salsa, and a burrito and then two peppermint patties on the way out the door. The conversation with another adult, the break from the children, the new environment, the lack of nasty diapers immediately followed by a trip to the outside garbage can with a fussy 17 month old on my hip…it all made for a freshness I desperately needed. At one point L asked how T’s day had been. We laughed as I confessed I didn’t know; I had not even asked. I just had to get out.

Thankfully T3 woke this morning with nothing more than a wet diaper. I think he’s finally on the mend! Cha-ching! I am so happy about that!

I’m wrapping up some major freelance commitments, for which I am thrilled! Thrilled with the wrapping up and thrilled with getting to deliver a well printed piece! It feels SO good!

I thrive on encouragement...actually, I seek fulfillment in the encouragement of others, rather than seeking my fulfillment in Christ alone. It's a sin problem for me...the search for significance...there has been one area of my life that I feel as though I’ve poured myself into for a few years and have received very little appreciation or encouragement – don’t we all feel that way? So anyway, yesterday the encouragement came and it fell like a long awaited rain on thirsty soil. It came in the form of two conversations - totally NOT instigated by me, followed by a homemade chocolate pie and two thank you notes. Oh that sweet encouragement! I am so thankful for it! I've been floating on it since last night! Now if I can just enjoy the encouragement and be uplifted, but find my worth in Christ, rather than other's opinions of me...

And I debated on whether or not to post this…but I think I will. Um..we’re facing some big sin head on in our sweet little MW’s heart. A few days ago she came into the kitchen playing with a red scarf. I’d never seen it before and asked where it had come from. She told me from Mrs. S’s house.

Me: “Did Mrs. S give that to you?”
MW: “No.”
Me: “How did you get it home?”
And then she whispered in my ear, “I put it in T3’s diaper bag.”

We asked her if she knew what stealing was and she said “no.” So we explained to her that stealing is taking something that is not yours and then we went on to talk to her about what God says about stealing. I asked her if her heart felt sad about taking it without asking and she said, “no.” So I asked if she felt at all bad when she hid it in the diaper bag and she said she wasn’t sure. We told her she will have to go and knock on Mrs. S’s door and confess to her what she did, seek forgiveness, and of course, return the scarf. Mrs. S is expecting us sometime this afternoon. MW is currently napping. Say a little prayer for us! My mama’s heart is sad over this one. Obviously, because she hid it in the diaper bag, she knew what she was doing was wrong. It’s really hard to see sin in my little girl’s heart and not rationalize it away. I so wanted to just call Mrs. S and say, “we wound up with your scarf. I’ll run it by later. Sorry.” But oh, that isn’t truly LOVING MW. This is hard, but good. Oh my precious little ones with such selfish, wicked, and deceitful hearts…just like me.

But alas! Hope is not dead. He is risen! The tomb is empty! Seeing sin in my own children makes me even more thankful that He has purchased redemption. That it is finished. Thank You, God.

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