For Memory's Sake...

I just like this picture. It's so Sister caught off guard.

The girls dancing, Little Bit in footy pajamas and mary janes, and Little Man employing his skillz.

And for posterity...all three on Christmas morning. Poor kids. We make them wait until 7:30! They were beyond ready! 

Not sure what's up with Little Bit's expression. Well, kind of not sure what's up with anyone's expression. Hee hee.

Little Bit sportin' a 'stache.

All three 'stache-in it up.

Workin' on the milk 'stache.

Sister's BIG gift...

A new winter coat! She's only been wearing the same one for the last four years... a North Face my sister scored for a dollar at the thrift store! I just put it away for Little Bit. And sweet Sister, the sleeves are finally long enough to pass her wrists. (To our credit, she had insisted she did NOT want a new coat! However, it became obvious to even our most staunch "don't ever change anything" activist that her coat had become too small and it was indeed time for something new.)

Today marks the one year anniversary of losing our little lamb. There's a sweet peace in my heart. The Lord has done great things. He has carried us in this season of grief. 

I thought I'd never reach the day when the tears wouldn't spill over at the thought of our precious babe.

I wondered if I'd ever honestly be able to rejoice with others as God blessed them with babies. 

Would the pain ever fade? 

Would our family ever feel whole again? 

Would my broken heart ever stop bleeding?!

And yet, here we are. God has brought such healing. His mercies are new every morning. He is good. And He is faithful. I still think of our little one often. I miss our precious babe. I am thankful for His work in our lives, in my heart, in our marriage. It has been hard. And painful. And good. And He is sovereign.

I recently read this post and was so encouraged. 

"Lord, you assigned me my portion and my cup; You have made my lot secure...The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance." Psalm 16:5-6

Happy Thursday night, y'all!

It Is Good.

{my hero.}

I'm struggling with words tonight. I want desperately to explain, to record, what is happening in my heart right now. I'm just at a loss for words.

I remember the morning following MW's birth...leaning forward in the hospital bed in disbelief of God's sheer goodness to us. God had chosen to give us a baby girl, whom He had perfectly, intentionally, and lovingly knit together.

I remember sitting in the hospital bed, cradling T3 in my arms as awe filled my heart and I began to process the responsibility with which God had entrusted us. I also remember my love for T shooting through the roof. It was as if holding flesh of my flesh and bone of my bones in a male child gave me some profoundly deep love for my husband...an appreciation that had not been there before.

And then MC was born...and life is just sweet. My heart has exploded with love! She is such a blessing. I just want to hold her and never let go. 

I see all three of my children together and my heart nearly bursts. Each one has captured my heart in a different and wonderful way. I cannot believe God's goodness. I am in awe.

Last night JJ put little man to bed. Shortly after she'd left to run an errand, I heard him yelling for her, "JJ, I need you, NOW!" I had MC in my arms and headed to little man's room to nip that in the bud. I'm not sure how it happened, but he wound up lying down in his bed with MC cradled in one arm, while he stroked her cheek with his free hand and stared at her. She was sound asleep and he had the most precious, loving expression on his face. It was the sweetest five minutes they've shared together. I was so thankful. My heart nearly burst.

This afternoon MW climbed up beside me and held MC and counted her fingers and toes and spoke to her in sweet, hushed tones. It was sweetness. Pure and simple sweetness.

I marvel at God's goodness. I stand in awe. 

Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow;

Praise Him, all creatures here below;

Praise Him above, ye heavenly host;

Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.

Update...

COUPONING...

• I'm a closet coupon-er. T's grandmother got me started and then Ole Miss Mom provided some great info and pointed me to a few other blogs that have helped me "learn the system." I've been doing this for a while, but hadn't posted yet because... I'm prideful. 

Ok...in the rush to beat two grown women to the last few boxes of Kellog's cereal at CVS...I spied one of their couponing systems...and it made such sense. So I copied her.

I spent a morning making my own mini filing system...and I'm smitten with it! It works so well! I can find everything I need so easily...the coupons don't spill out...it's fantastic! And the best part is that I only spent $3 on the container...the paper was excess from freelance jobs. Sweet.

So...here's a recent example of why I am so pumped about this couponing thing:

Monday, at CVS, I bought:

-Viologie Shampoo (reg. $3.99) on sale for $1.99

-Viologie Conditioner (reg. $3.99) on sale for $1.99

-Cover Girl Outlast Lipcolor (reg. $9.99) on sale for $7 (they'd give me $3 in Extra Care Bucks {ECBs})

-6 Right Guard Deodorants (reg. $4.99) on sale 2/$5 (they'd give me $2 in ECBs per two deodorants)

-2 gallons of 2% milk on sale for $2.99 each

-3 pack of Dial Bar Soap on sale for $1.99 (they'd give me $1 ECB)

By combining sales with coupons with Extra Care Bucks (you get these back on certain purchases when you use your CVS rewards card) plus store coupons (these usually print out on your receipt when you make a purchase at CVS) I paid $4.80 out of pocket. Pretty sweet, huh?

Every time isn't that great...but that's the beauty of the system. We're stocked up on drug store items so I can wait for the really good deals and save $$$.

And by the way...T's mom and grandmother pass on the coupons they don't use to me...and Katie cuts out all the coupons she won't use from her paper and mails them to me. Every Tuesday or so I get a sweet note from her, packed with $$$ savings! Thanks, guys!

MW's END OF THE YEAR PROGRAM...

• MW did SUPER in her end of the year program. (She even picked her nose...on the front row...for all to see!) And the little man sat contentedly through the ENTIRE thing! Hooray!

THE GARAGE...

junk growing in the back yard...

• Our garage, like my sister and bro-in-law's, is rotten to the core and falling down. It floods several inches deep every time we get a good rain...Like Katie and Matt's, the previous owner covered ours in vinyl, too. Sweet. So we've spent some time drafting ideas. T made a scale model of the house and yard and we've spent hours playing...

We think we have a plan, but the push to clean out the back yard is also being prompted by a certain combined birthday gift...a gift all the fam is going in on for both children's birthdays. It's big and wooden and will be used to burn off lots of energy outdoors this summer, and hopefully for years to come...it's a S-W-I-N-G-S-E-T. shhhh...don't tell. MW's birthday isn't until June 22nd.

T dug up and ripped out the clothing lines...I can't believe the space that created! He also chain sawed a bunch of junk down...we've got to mark out our new plan for the garage, as we'll be building in a new location...exciting times!

THE DOG HOUSE...

• We'd debated on selling the dog house in the paper...Scout sleeps inside most nights and if she does sleep outside, she doesn't sleep in the dog house...it's been uninhabited for over a year now...so T went over to take a closer look and found evidence of termites...so we decided to haul her to the street for road side pick up...T put a strap around her, put his truck in gear, and hauled her to the curb. Low and behold, before dawn the next morning, she was gone. Our rotten, termite infested, falling apart dog house had been scooped. Hope they enjoy her!

THE STUNT BABE...

• Little Miss had a BIG day! She FINALLY learned how to pedal/ride a bike...THROUGH WATER!!! We're still with training wheels...but she can pedal. SHE CAN PEDAL!!! This is BIG!!! I thought the little man might figure it out before MW. 

T gets "Dad of the Century" for the countless hours he's spent holding the hose "just so" so MW can "ride THROUGH water!" 

THE HYDRANGEAS...

• blooming...there are tons of blooms! HOORAY! I LOVE hydrangeas!!!

THE RECITAL...

little man...being a super little bro! He hung in there through the entire recital!

• MW rocked the recital. Ok, really, she did great, and my fav. part was at the end of each dance when she struck a pose that said, "I kicked rear up here!" She cracks me up!

WEEKEND WITH FAM...

• The whole clan came for the recital, but only Mom stayed for the weekend...and surprise!!! late Friday night, post recital, my sister, A, 

and her husband, 

and their little boy

joined us. (I could just eat him up! He's SO CUTE!!!) It was SUCH a FUN weekend! I just wish Katie and Matt and Mary Thomas could've been here, too!

I LOVE this pic.!!! Seeing the smile on MW's and Mom's faces makes me smile!!!

The little man has a new favorite line:

"Dat's mine. OHHHH-KAAAAAYYYY???????"

He said that a lot while his cousin was here. 

GRASS vs POTTY...

Little man stripped down in the back yard in the swimming pool...potty training is becoming a little more interesting to him. While stripped down he became a little more aware of what was going on...he won't tee tee in the potty...but he sure will tee tee in the grass! Yesterday I asked him if he wanted to go outside. His reply: "Tee tee in dirt!" As MW reminded him, "You can only do that in OUR backyard."

THE TEA PARTY...

• MW gave baby a present. She decorated my tummy for a tea party for baby. 

THE LAST DAY OF 4 YR KINDERGARTEN...

• And she had her last day of school...and I cried. She wouldn't stop hugging her teacher goodbye...we were holding up car line...and kind of got in trouble with the pre-school director. Oh well. I could barely tell her to get in the car because of the giant lump in my throat. I can't believe how fast these days are flying!

It makes me wonder... am I using my time at home with her wisely? Am I investing in her heart for eternity? Am I pointing her to the cross daily? Am I intentional? These days are like sand sifting through my fingers...God, please give me wisdom!