Knitting Peanut Roaster

Seriously, are you believing this????

I'm not even sure how to sum up what's been happening in our home...in our hearts. Almost two weeks ago the children were playing at our neighbor's house. Little Bit and her friend were snoozing. The house was quiet. I tried to ignore the thought. To quiet my heart. Finally I caved. I'd promised myself I wouldn't take another unless I knew. I didn't know. But I had to. I couldn't shake the feeling.

And it was immediately obvious. And I was shocked. And I laughed and I cried. All at the same time. In a fluttering panic, I opted to place it in a folded piece of paper, upon which I wrote the due date and a verse that holds a special place in our hearts.

I tucked the envelope into the mail and hoped The Engineer wouldn't notice the missing stamp and postmark. As you saw, he didn't!

I've shared bits of my heart here and here. Over the course of the last two months, the Lord has really worked in my heart, in our hearts. He finally brought me to that place where, though I longed for more children, and though I could not fathom how not having another child would be better than having another child, I wanted His will more than my own. That's not the result of anything in me. That is totally, completely, one hundred percent the work of the Spirit in my heart, in our hearts. I believed with all my heart that He had closed that door. And I had been able to praise Him and thank Him for His will, even when it wasn't what we wanted. Again - that was nothing in me, that was all because of and through the Holy Spirit.

And so by His grace I've been more relaxed about this whole longing, finally trusting. Knowing. Resting in the fact that He really is the One who gives life, despite seventeen long and hard months of our best efforts.

And He has given life.

And we are rejoicing and grinning. We keep looking at one another and saying, "Did you know we're going to have another baby?" We keep emailing and calling one another just to say, "Did you know we're going to have another baby?" 

I really believed in my heart that this wasn't going to be His will. Oh, how He has burst forth the floodgates. His blessings are pouring into our lives and we are overwhelmed in so many ways.

To God be the glory, great things He has done!

Telling the children was super fun. We set a place at the sixth chair around our table, the one that sits empty and reminds us to pray for another baby, only we set it with a porridger and baby spoon and we even pulled out the high chair. Sister was the first to notice. I played it cool. In a few seconds she knew and I could see it on her face and she burst into tears and buried her face in my stomach. I asked her what was wrong and she said, "Oh Mama! I am just so happy!"

Little Man was thrilled as well. He was more concerned with how big my stomach will get and with how big it would get if we had three at once and then, "Mama, what if you had fifty-five babies at one time? That would be AWESOME!!!"

Little Bit is clueless. 

And we all immediately talked about Who knits babies together and Who gives life and as a family, we gave Him thanks.

We were filming their reaction and sadly the camera cut off before the children even came to the dinner table. We missed the entire thing. We reenacted the scene, but it just wasn't quite the same.

And so, friends, I thank you for your prayers for our family. Thank you for your kind calls, emails, texts, and comments. Thank you for lifting us up to our heavenly Father. Thank you for being a safe place to share my heart. You have been nothing but supportive and encouraging and I thank you. We thank you. 

I believe Sister pulling for a girl. She wrote, "God gave me a baby and I love it. I love my baby sis. She is pretty and nice."

After going through a miscarriage and a tubal pregnancy, my doctor is watching us closely. They've done two rounds of blood work and it has all come back looking great. I had an ultra sound Friday and they were able to confirm that baby is where he's supposed to be! Yea! Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

Regardless of all the tests and statistics, we know Who is knitting this little one together. This little one our little ones have affectionately named "Peanut Roaster." God is sovereign and He is good, no matter what.

And I want to say - to my friends who are still struggling with this, whose hearts are aching and longing for a child - because many of you have shared your hurt with me - my heart aches with and for you. I don't want to gloss over this. I am thinking about you. I am sure for many, reading this post brings tears and a sting to your heart because it hurts because you want this, too. And many of you have wanted this for a very, very long time. I am praying for you. Specifically, for you. And the Lord knows who you are. You are loved and you are precious. Take heart. The Lord knows your heart. He knows your longing. I pray He will work His perfect plan in your life and give you peace and contentment and even joy. And if we were face to face, I would cry with you and pray with and for you. Dear friend, you are precious to the Lord. Take heart. I pray His comfort and peace upon your life.